Monday, August 13, 2007
You Were So Hot in High School...Now You Are a Joke
The other day I was driving up the road. I swear that I saw this girl from high school. She was walking along the sidewalk. She still had the big 90s haircut that you could land a plane on, and looked to be about two hundred pounds. No, she wasn't particularly tall. She was five-five I'd guess. She was pretty chunky for a thirty-or-so-year-old woman, and I had to laugh to myself.
I mean, this girl was the hottest chick around in high school. I remember telling my friend, just before starting High School, that I had found out this girl was going to my school instead of his. He was so jealous, and I actually managed to become friends with her over the years, and even dated her younger sister for a bit.
My point in all this is that it's funny how the power pendulum swings. I mean, this girl had anything she wanted as a teenager because of her looks. Every guy wanted her, teachers were nicer to her than other people, and because she had an older boyfriend she got to go to the cool parties and ride around in his car starting at like fourteen. Girls hated her (not to her face of course), and guys wanted her.
Now, that older bad-boy boyfriend is probably some overweight construction worker that she has to avoid having sex with every night, while her six rug rats snore through their snot in their beds and on the couch. Or she desperately posts to craigslist searching for a "relationship" when she knows that only means "sex" to the guys that would respond. They probably bring home twenty-five thousand between the two of them per year, and live near the place I saw her walking.
Now, the guys like me that she would hardly give the time to in high school are getting degrees and have careers that are worth something to society and to themselves financially. Guys like me are the guys these girls desperately seek now, but can't find. I loved when I heard these women say in high school, "Where are all the nice guys?" We were right where we always were, home alone on the weekends wishing that girl would talk to us more while she was out with that jerk of a boyfriend. We always got to hear them complain about him Monday morning.
Well now the power has shifted, and you are lonely and prowling craigslist for us. Well, guess what? We've been taken by a woman better, prettier, smarter, funnier and more caring than you. We're poets, musicians, career men, family guys, artists, and just overall good guys.
Your time has passed now that your teen-beauty has passed. It's our turn to have our pick of whom to be with.
Think of that the next time that greasy guy is breathing down your neck.
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Posted by You Haven't Heard of Him at 8/13/2007 06:16:00 AM